Why am I not more Calm: An IFS perspective
- What am I feeling that is not calm- name it. A part of me is ____, instead of calm.
- A part of me wants to be calm because it thinks that calmness will mean/do _____
- What more information can you gather from these 2 group of parts (I need to be calm! And I can’t be calm!)
See if you can imagine space between yourSelf and these parts. How do you feel towards both groups? If you feel something besides open, curious, or even neutral, that is another part. Ask that to step beside you, behind you or even out of the room so you can be more fully present.
- What can these 2 parts tell you about themselves?
- How are they trying to help you? What is their positive intention for you?
- How do you feel towards them now?
- Tell them that and see how they react.
- What are they afraid would happen if they didn’t do their jobs for you, to protect you in this way?
- What do they need from you?
- Can you give that to them in some way?
- Thank them for talking to you.